A nom de guerre

Manners (and lack thereof)

2006-01-28T17:07:00.000Z

Alright, I've beaten my deadlines and recovered my health so I'm going to write about manners as I said I would.

For several years I've been noticing a decline in manners in society. As a child I was taught that certain behaviour was unacceptable but I see examples of 'bad' manners every day. It may be a stomping, screaming, swearing child on the bus or a grown man shoving his way to the front of a queue. Whatever it is I see I can't help but purse my lips in a disapproving manner and glare at the offender.

Much worse than this, however, is when my friends are the culprits.

How do you tell an adult who is a guest in your house that you don't appreciate them putting their feet on the table? I've tried it, and was laughed at as a result. I've managed to make my views known on a couple of matters but have been informed that I'm 'bossy'. This is coming from someone who regularly visits, eats a load of sweets and leaves the wrappers all over my coffee table. I could go on for ages about all the irritating little things that make me want to shake people, but instead I'll ask one question.

When you visit someone else's home do you think it is important to respect their living space, their belongings and their wishes?

I do.

Excuses, excuses

2006-01-10T13:44:00.000Z

I'm afraid I'm neglecting my poor blog again. Lingering illness and impending deadlines are occupying all my energy. However, I have opinions on manners (and lack thereof) to write about so I'll return soon.

In the meantime, here is a rather amusing view of creationism and evolution from Scott Adams.

Tonsils

2006-01-04T14:09:00.000Z

For the hundredth time I wish I'd had my tonsils removed as a child.

I should not be able to feel my own tonsils when I swallow, it's disturbing. I should not be gagging from trying to swallow my own swollen uvula either, but there's nothing much that can be done about that!

Shopping list:
Ibuprofen
Cough mixture
Night Nurse
Lemsip

Somebody fix me please!

Intelligent Design?

2005-12-21T09:46:00.000Z

I don't know about anyone else but I've been rather amused by the 'Intelligent design versus Darwinism' drama going on across the pond.

I'm all for religious belief. I have Christian family and atheist family so I grew up with quite a balanced view, getting both books about dinosaurs and bible stories to read. Unsurprisingly I ended up agnostic (which is a posh way of saying I haven't a clue whether there's a divine influence). I think it would be nice to really believe in something but I never will and I'm content with that.

However, I think there is a time and a place for religious study and that's the Religious Education class rather than the Science class. My only gripe with RE classes at school was that they focused heavily on Christianity at the expense of other religions (which I was interested in hearing about).

I thought the Flying Spaghetti Monster argument was brilliantly absurd and well worth a read if you're not the type to take these things seriously. However, it has a worrying background. It is now law in Kansas to tell schoolkids that the theory of evolution is 'controversial'!

The most recent development on this whole debacle has seen a court ruling in Dover, Pennsylvania that Darwinism must be taught as fact. This BBC article is interesting, particularly Judge Jones' comments.

The whole thing both scares and tickles me.

Family traditions: silly songs

2005-12-19T10:19:00.000Z

I'm definitely getting into the festive spirit. I was just working away, minding my own business, when a carol my Pa used to sing to me popped into my head:

We three kings of Orient are,
One in a taxi, one in a car,
One on a scooter bibbing his hooter,
Following yonder star.

Oh all right then... it's Christmas time.

2005-12-16T10:18:00.000Z

Last weekend was indeed hectic, with family and friends visiting, and social engagements aplenty ensuring we didn't stop once! Since then I've been battling with deadlines for my adult education and desperately trying to reduce the pile of paper on my desk at work so I have nothing exciting to say.

I've finally given in and accepted that it's Christmas though. Mr Incognito bought me a fluffy Santa hat and we have mince pies in the house.

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."

2005-12-07T11:47:00.000Z

C.S. Lewis folks. It seemed appropriate with the new film version of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe coming out.

Yes, this post is about time and how I don't have enough of it. The full-time work and part-time study is manageable but adding housework, Christmas preparations and family visits to the mix makes me crazy.

All work and no play makes Girly want to cry.

Work is a little hectic right now and I have essays to write while I'm at home so the housework is taking a back seat, which ordinarily wouldn't worry me very much. However, both my family and Mr Incognito's family have decided to visit us this weekend!

Cue panic-driven cleaning frenzy.

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!

2005-12-01T13:29:00.000Z

Blasted spam-peddlers. Is it not bad enough we have to have word verification to prevent them, now individuals are going around pasting crap into the comments!

I just got the following (and deleted it):

Sorry I couldn't help with the topic, but I may be able to help with Christmas!
How bout getting an iPod or XBox 360 for cheap before christmas from CENSORED
Over £10 million worth of gifts have been sent over the past year!
All the best, Silly Spammer (name changed)

Bout? A bout of what?
For cheap?

If you're going to go to the trouble of visiting individual blogs just to spam them at least distribute well-written spam!

This fellow was wasting his time with me anyway. I think I could get a far better MP3 player than an iPod and if I were to get an XBox 360 it'd be after it has more than one game I'd want to play!

Grumble grumble grumble.

DIY time

2005-11-27T09:57:00.000Z

I'm sitting in a draught. I guess that means it's time to fix draught seal strips around the windows, like I've been meaning to do for months! Mr Incognito probably won't be too happy about the prospect of a new and improved household chore.

Still, once it's done we can say we're prepared for this terrible winter we're supposed to have.

Don't encourage them!

2005-11-21T09:20:00.000Z

Oh dearie me! I was indulging in a spot of breakfast telly and GMTV announced their Christmas lights competition (see, I even found a link to show you!). They flashed up a blinding montage of tackiness and encouraged people to cover their houses with as many lights as possible. What a waste of electricity!

However, it does put me in mind of a B&B in Edinburgh (I think it was on the Portobello Road) that was covered in lights every year. It had a nativity scene in the garage if I recall correctly. It's been a couple of years since I've been in that particular area in December but I have to admit that the sight used to make me chuckle.

And now, back to forgetting about the festive season.

'Tis the season? No, not quite.

2005-11-18T09:55:00.000Z

Well the lights are beginning to come on all over Britain now. I have to admit I find the idea of starting to celebrate Christmas in November (or even earlier) a little depressing. I'm not a holiday hater, far from it, but I find that the longer Christmas is stretched out by other people the less magic it holds.

When I was a little girl my Pa took me to church with him and I believed that Christmas was Jesus' birthday. I also fervently believed that Santa Claus came down the chimney to reward good boys and girls with gifts. It took me a while to work out that it was my Ma's handwriting on Santa's gifts and my Pa sneaking into my room to fill up the stocking with goodies.

I still love Christmas but these days I see it as a time for family and a time to show people you appreciate them. I don't see it as an excuse to throw as many lights and tacky decorations as possible at the front of my house.

Oh yes, I passed one such house this morning. The eighteenth of November! It was a nightmare of plastic novelty items and it sucked the joy from my morning. Oh I know I shouldn't be bothered and it probably makes the house's inhabitants very happy but I want my holidays to be a (reasonably short) warm fuzzy family time rather than two months of bad taste.

Of course, I've already done most of my Christmas shopping but that's just so I can avoid the heaving throng of bodies in the shops! Now I intend to forget about Christmas for a month or so.

Comments

2005-11-11T12:43:00.000Z

Just a brief note.

I've decided to revert to Blogger's comments rather than continue with Haloscan. The Haloscan link is still there but I don't like the way it deletes older comments. In the meantime, if you're commenting, please use the link that says 'blogger comments'.

Ta.

Sheepishly sidling back

2005-11-10T09:45:00.000Z

Oh dear. I really am the world's worst blogger. I apologise for my extended absence and I'll try to offer a (probably inadequate) excuse.

I began this blog because I wanted to rant without people I know in real life getting snippy with me. I've got a few 'friends' that can't stand it when your opinion differs from theirs. I decided that my outpourings of frustration were a bit pointless, despite making me feel better for a while.

I started by thinking I would just take a break from the internet for a couple of weeks but things happened (don't they always) and I ended up deciding that this blog wasn't what I wanted it to be. The trouble is, I still don't know what I do want it to be!

I have plenty to rant about right now but I'm not sure whining on the web is what I want to do. I shall contemplate that and return with something more interesting soon (no really, I will).

Bad Blogger

2005-07-27T08:57:00.000+01:00

I must apologise for neglecting my blog (and the 'net in general). I am rather unwell and feeling far too pathetic to be witty, passionate or even conversational.

Incidentally, Special K doesn't taste as good when it's trying to force itself back up your throat.

I'm a book nerd

2005-07-16T15:47:00.000+01:00

Can't talk. Harry Potter.

Whee!

Daddy Cool

2005-07-14T22:45:00.000+01:00

One of the reasons that I've been away from my computer is that I've been entertaining Pa Incognito (my dear ol' Dad) for a few days. Obviously this meant that spending a lot of time online would have been rude. A few things struck me during the time we spent together:

We will never see eye-to-eye on certain things.
He will always think I am incapable of any form of DIY (and other 'male' activities) without help, despite my having a great deal of success in the past.
The older I get, the less I mind about these things.
Family is important.

Pa may be a contrary old sod sometimes, and he may wind me up on purpose, but he's the only Pa I have and I'm glad to have him. I'll try to remember that the next time he tries to get a rise out of me. It wouldn't be so bad, but he always bloody manages it!

A little of this, a little of that...

2005-07-12T16:30:00.000+01:00

Apologies for once again vanishing from cyberspace. I've been away from my computer again.

I shall avoid rambling on about current events as my head is spinning from hearing so many rants. For once I'm keeping my mouth shut (or my fingers off the keyboard).

Instead I'll talk about the weather. It's been fabulously hot. In Scotland! I had to play 'hunt the summer clothes' this week because I usually live in trousers and long sleeved t-shirts. My tea and coffee intake has dropped to rock bottom in favour of Diet Coke (tastes better than the regular sort), ginger beer and Irn Bru. I've had two Costa 'frescatos' in two days. They may just be overpriced slush puppies but I do love the raspberry flavour. Sun! Lovely sunshine with its warming rays and ability to make everything look pretty. What a great excuse to indulge in a beer at lunchtime.

And yet people keep whinging that it's too hot. Bloody sun's just out to get them, causing them to go red and peel because they're not used to using sunscreen. Oh! Terrible, awful sun! They'll get heatstroke or, God forbid, sweat in this heat.

Oh suck it up. You already complain about the rain, wind, fog, snow and clouds in the sky so please just stop whining about the few precious days of summer that bonnie old Scotland sees.

It gets worse

2005-07-07T11:40:00.000+01:00

I think I've become desensitised to scenes/news of violence and destruction. I've been reading about the explosions in London and part of me isn't even surprised.

I spent some time in London a few years ago, working on Tavistock Square. I used the Russell Square tube station twice a day. I'm clearly picturing that ripped-apart bus and the chaos that must be occurring in that area and I don't know how to feel.

I think we're all used to seeing things like this, not usually in Britain but we watch the news and see it happening elsewhere. I simply do not understand the thought process behind an incident like this. Human behaviour never ceases to stun me.

Big News Day

2005-07-06T14:10:00.000+01:00

Mental note: Do not move to London before 2012.

Actually, I have no intention of ever moving to London but I think I'll especially want to avoid it while the Olympics are being held there. I'm not terribly fond of crowds and imagining what it'll be like is bringing me out in a cold sweat. I've yet to delve into what this will mean for Britain and British taxpayers so I'll reserve judgement on whether this is a good or a bad thing for now.

All this frenzy surrounding the G8 summit is getting to me. The majority of protestors appear to be sensible and peaceful but there are obviously a few causing problems. I caught the news on the radio this morning and there was something about cars being vandalised. I didn't hear it all and there's nothing on the news sites I've trawled through. Unfortunately it is always the actions of the few unreasonable morons that are remembered, tainting the efforts of the peaceful. Let's hope the stupidity is suppressed until the summit is over.

Teatime confusion

2005-07-05T14:48:00.000+01:00

I went out for an Indian meal last night. All but two of us had forgotten what we'd ordered by the time the food arrived. The menu was extensive and we got confused. I knew mine was a 'something tikka makhani' but someone else had a 'something different makhani'. Two others couldn't remember the names of their dishes at all and one just kept saying, 'mine was the prawn vindaloo!'.

Oh dear, I'm sure the waiters loved us. We left a decent tip though.

'A nom de guerre'

2005-07-04T10:30:00.000+01:00

I decided to save this set of comments before Haloscan deleted them. They explain the name of the journal (and why I'm known as 'Girly Incognito').

Excuse me, I am french and I was looking at some blogs when I saw this one. I find it very "style" all in blach white and red! But there is something I have to say: "A nom de guerre" isn't french. "Au nom de la guerre" (in the name of war), "Un nom de guerre" ( a war's name), "Pas de guerre" (no war) are title wich are french. But I don't know if it is that you will say !
Ring | 07.05.05 - 3:43 pm |#

Merci

I'm very interested in language and how it evolves. Over here in Britain 'nom de guerre' is used to mean a pseudonym (est il pseudonyme en français? Je suis désolé, je ne parle pas français bien.). We also use 'nom de plume' if it is a pseudonym used by a writer.

Voici un lien à une définition de dictionnaire:
http://www.askoxford.com/concise...eguerre? view=uk

Je ne suis pas sûr comment c'est devenu une expression 'anglaise'!
Girly | Homepage | 07.06.05 - 9:29 am |#

I believe (if my history is correct) that the expression "Nom de Guerre" originated in France during the revolutionary period. It referred to the names the leading revolutionaries would use on letters to each other that they would recognise but which would conceal their identities if the letters were intercepted.

At that point in history it was fashionable among the English upper classes to talk mostly in French, and hence they picked up the expression which then became common in English parlance for an assumed name being used by anyone plotting a scheme.
Alan | Homepage | 07.06.05 - 10:16 am |#

Alan, you are full of interesting information! I knew a lot of the French in use over here had crept in through fashion but it didn't occur to me that the phrase was a result of the revolution. Now I feel a bit silly for not thinking about it.
Girly | Homepage | 07.06.05 - 3:13 pm | #

Smoking and placards

2005-07-01T11:00:00.000+01:00

Yesterday the Scottish Parliament was due to vote on whether a smoking ban would come into force next spring. Being a non-smoker who likes the odd pub lunch I was interested in the outcome. I've been to New York and it worked just fine there, with the smokers nipping outside if they wanted a quick puff and then rejoining their non-smoking pals inside. No-one seemed too bothered about it and several locals told us they were smoking less and were quite happy that they were saving money.

So I switched on the news to see whether it would go ahead and was faced with
a bunch of politicians acting rather unprofessionally. If you want to change something at work do you stomp around waving placards? No. You use the proper channels because anything else is counter-productive. It's no wonder so many people regard the SSP as a joke when they employ tactics like that.

I eventually found out that the ban on smoking in public places will come into force on March 26th 2006. I'm quite happy. Although I'm not bothered by smokers and have no problem with sitting in a smoky pub it'll be nice to come home from a night out without reeking to high heaven.

Is it wrong to despise an old man?

2005-06-29T14:00:00.000+01:00

I haven't had an awful lot to say lately. I'm possibly suffering from a crisis of confidence because everything I try to write sounds like complete drivel to me.

The pet peeves have been eating away at me and yet I don't feel compelled to rant and rave about them. I'm finding it easier to seethe in silence. I think this may be due to the high levels of bad manners and inconsiderate bahaviour I've been witnessing daily.

This brings me to a neighbour of mine. We'll call him DOM (Drunk Old Man) for the sake of convenience. DOM is an alcoholic, not just someone who likes a tipple but a man in his sixties who is permanently drunk. I've seen him at the bus stop trying to talk to young girls without dribbling, watched poor long-suffering coppers escort him home, been kept awake when he's passed out with his TV blaring (and other neighbours hammer on his door/ceiling to wake him up) and stepped over his lumpen, snoring form as I attempt to gain entry to my own home.

Recently he's been buying a lot of fish suppers. I know this because he keeps dropping them in the communal stairwell, the last time he left his hat mashed into the chips. He picks them up the next day but there are still ground in bits of food here and there.

Luckily the noise isn't completely unbearable and we can ignore him most of the time but it's still a nuisance. I almost felt sorry for him when I heard one of my other neighbours punched him but I laughed instead... then felt guilty for laughing. See? I'm not a (completely) heartless wench.

Now, here's my current problem. I want to clean up the stairwell because it looks grotty but I don't want to put lots of effort into something that will be covered in food within days. Do I:
a) make the effort?
b) do a half-arsed job?
c) hold off and hope someone else does it?

What will happen to Countdown?

2005-06-27T10:21:00.000+01:00

Now I normally dislike it when people get melodramatic over a celebrity's death but I have to admit I'm a little saddened by the passing of Richard 'twice-nightly' Whitely. He was like everyone's favourite uncle.

Channel 4 won't be the same without him.

Twenty days without a post!

2005-06-22T12:30:00.000+01:00

Ah... yes. Where was I?

Gary, in answer to your question, I think I have been in hiding!

Something happened in the real world™ that made me very angry with the Internet. Irrational? Perhaps. This goes far beyond a pet peeve and so I shall keep my wrath to myself this time. Suffice it to say that I think sneaking through someone else's correspondence, be it electronic or otherwise, is unnacceptable behaviour and a gross invasion of privacy.

My faith in the human race diminishes daily.

I'll rejoin the world of the wired and catch up on what I've missed now!

I'm singing the Doom Song

2005-06-02T11:35:00.000+01:00

The taxi I was in last night was nearly hit by another car at a roundabout so I'm beginning to think that the universe wants me dead... or maybe just scared.

The drivers of Doom

2005-06-01T13:50:00.000+01:00

In the space of two days I have been on three buses involved in braking & honking incidents, and nearly been mown down.

Bus 1: Driver was speeding, presumably he was running late. We reach a large roundabout and... SLAM hooooooooonk! White Van Driver and Bus Driver are engaged in angry gesturing. I'm not entirely sure what happened.

Bus 2: Driver was racing along, the bus was swaying a bit and I was a stop from home and praying for release. SLAM honk hooonk hooooooooonk! Driver opens window and starts berating a taxi driver for apparently being in the wrong lane. Taxi driver winds his window up and drives off. I get up to exit (thankfully) and Driver mutters angrily to himself as we pull up to the stop.

Bus 3: Bus is cruising along a main road when a small car shoots out of a side street in its path. SLAM honkhonkhonkhooooooooonk! Everyone is thrown forward and we all curse the small car's driver.

After exiting Bus 1 I went to a busy pedestrian crossing. The green man pops up and we all start to cross... only to leap back as a car is driven straight through the crowd. Our jaws drop. One or two pedestrians yell at the driver, who looks quite freaked out.

I think I will perish at the hands of a bad driver, fate seems to be trying to tell me so.

I want to slap someone

2005-05-28T16:48:00.000+01:00

I just saw yet another example of rudeness and meanness that made me want to go off on a tirade but what's the point? I just wish that more people would think before they speak/write because what they say might be considered insulting and hurtful to others.

I spent ten minutes trying to work out how to make the little fucker realise that what he'd written would be seen by the person whose work he was belittling. Then I gave up because I know that, no matter what I say, he'll get massively enraged at me and probably claim it was a joke.

Common decency is a dying trait.

Pet peeve #10: Cinema conversationalists

2005-05-23T14:20:00.000+01:00

I don't understand the mentality behind buying an overpriced cinema ticket and then proceeding to chat all the way through the film.

Yes, you guessed right, I went to see Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith this weekend and twitched in annoyance throughout.

The culprit seemed to be trying to impress his girlfriend, who looked as irritated as I felt with his prattling. Unfortunately, he was just too far away for me to turn around and tell him what an inconsiderate swine he was (unless I wanted to disturb everyone around us further).

Why is it so difficult to grasp the concept that all the people in the cinema have spent money in order to see a film, and that talking can spoil it for others?

When I was a hot-headed teenager I punched a guy in the shoulder because he wouldn't stop going, 'oooh you'll love this bit' and 'wait, wait, this bit's brilliant' while I tried to enjoy the film I'd paid to see. Luckily (for everyone else) I have better self-control now.

Interview meme

2005-05-21T11:15:00.000+01:00

OK, I figured out how to navigate this crazy browser so here's that interview I promised:

1. Imagine you had to be a real girly incognito, because you had to go into the witness protection programme. You have to leave everything about your life behind, but you can build an entirely new life for yourself anywhere in the world doing anything you want. What will it be?
I'd reinvent myself as an ex-exotic dancer who escaped to Barbados to live out her dream of running her own bar. If I have to leave behind everyone I love I'm sure as hell going somewhere sunny with a lot of booze to console myself with. While I'm there I shall gain a second income writing erotica under the pseudonym of 'Rusty Chalmers'.

2. You refer to yourself several times on your blog as “opinionated.” You are granted a ten minute audience with Tony Blair. What do you tell him?
Ten minutes is probably not enough to tell you what I really think so I'll content myself with this: I didn't vote for you. I knew you would win but I'm heartily glad your lead was reduced. Maybe next time we can get rid of you, you smug bastard. I truly believe we would be in a better position if you would just step down as PM. Oh, and by the way, you look like a crazed, power-hungry maniac when you smile.

3. If you could be a superhero, what would your name be and what powers would you have?
I always liked the idea of being telekinetic. Imagine the possibilities! I'd obviously have to have a supercool name like 'Kinetica'. Jean Grey eat your heart out...

4. We all do things as children which make us blush bright red when we think back on them as adults. Tell us about a blushingly embarrassing childhood thing you did. (Names may be changed to protect the innocent).
My childhood is a bit of a blur but I think the incident that stands out as being the most idiotically embarrassing was when I was about eight or nine. I'd read that you could eat certain flowers and my friend (whom I was visiting) and I were talking about it in her garden. To prove it was true I ate some random flowers, was horribly sick and had to be taken home by my Mum. I also have a very early memory of being locked out of my house and having to go to the toilet at a neighbours. I'd been playing in a paddling pool and, after having a wee, I couldn't get my swimsuit back on so I walked back to our garden in the altogether. There were some 'big boys' (probably only about 5 or 6) who laughed at me. It's the first memory I have of feeling embarrassed and still makes me blush.

5. Who was the best bear, Paddington, Rupert or Winnie the Pooh? And why?
Paddington. He was fairly down to earth, had simple needs and wore a natty duffel coat! Rupert kept going off for adventures and his friends were annoying and Pooh was, frankly, a bit stupid. Eeyore and Tigger made up for Pooh's deficiencies and Rupert had his good points, but Paddington Bear was the bear you'd want to be friends with.

Coming soon...

2005-05-21T10:17:00.000+01:00

Alan has given me some interesting questions to ponder so I shall endeavour to answer them ASAP. I'm currently visiting relatives and having some issues with their weird Internet set-up.

I miss my Firefox, the unfamiliar confuses me.

Answers will appear shortly... I think.

Welcome back to the real world

2005-05-16T10:30:00.000+01:00

Ach, back to work today. I was not built for early mornings. I trundled into the office, fighting the urge to sleep all the way and found that some kind soul had put a chocolate bar on my desk.

Suddenly I don't hate the world as much.

Of course that won't stop me from bemoaning the junk that keeps finding its way into my hallway. It's usually supermarket advertising or some such thing, dumped on the floor of the communal entry. One glance and it's in the bin. This morning was different however. There were leaflets proclaiming that Jesus wanted to meet me this weekend.

I am firmly agnostic. I'm happy for anyone who has something to believe in but NOTHING will ever make me develop a faith in a thing I cannot touch. If years of church-going couldn't do it, neither will a leaflet.

Now chocolate, that's something I believe in.

Pet peeve #9: Silly childish drunks

2005-05-13T09:50:00.000+01:00

Here's that peeve I mentioned:

I was dragged out to a club last weekend on the basis that 'I needed to get out and have some fun'. I would rant about that but it's really a different subject. Actually, I believe I've already covered it in another peeve but I'm straying off-topic here...

While I was there I sat down with my full drink only to have it knocked all over me by an irritating drunk. Did I get an apology? No. Did I get an offer of a new drink? No. What did I get then? A snigger.
Now this person is a friend of a friend so I really couldn't tell them off without causing friction (it's hard trying to keep everyone happy) but I later discovered they had annoyed other people with silly behaviour all night. So here, my friends, is where I vent my spleen.

To a childish drunk:
You need to learn how to behave in public. If your actions beg an apology you give one. Grinning and laughing does not act as a 'get out of jail free' card. I had no opinion of you until that point but now I think you are rude, and I can not abide rudeness. The next time you drink too much Lambrini and get in my face I will treat you like the child that you are and give you a lecture on your behaviour in front of your friends for maximum embarrassment potential. And that goes for anyone else who acts like a thirteen-year-old after a couple of shandies.

Procrastination and Education (sing it with me now)

2005-05-10T12:50:00.000+01:00

Whew! It's been a while...

I apologise for my absence of late. I have been studying. I've been avoiding the temptation of the computer and trying to bury my head in the books. Bizarrely this has simply resulted in new and more imaginative forms of procrastination than my usual checking of email and reading websites.

This morning, for example, has seen me clean out the kitchen cupboards and fridge before planning dinner. I then decided that I should have lunch before settling down to work. Now I've fallen back into my bad old habits and I'm pottering about online.

Needless to say, I'm not at the office right now. I'm attempting to write a fascinating essay while battling with the attention span of a two-year old. I do have a new peeve to rant and rave about but I think I'll save it for later (after a short time writing and a break for coffee and possibly preparing a nice cottage pie for dinner... or maybe tomorrow).

The little things

2005-05-04T12:00:00.000+01:00

I arrived home yesterday to find a handwritten envelope with a second-class stamp addressed to me. Of course, my curiosity was piqued as I don't often receive handwritten letters.

I opened it to find... a letter that had been written by hand ('Dear resident') and then scanned, printed and posted. It was from the local LibDem candidate putting across some LibDem views and promising the locals much better things than the Labour lot could. On top of that there was a phone number to call if I want a lift to the polling station!

I'll admit it's a nice touch. I've already made my choices but, had I been undecided, I may have been swayed by the offer of a lift.

Whatever the weather

2005-04-28T15:00:00.000+01:00

I don't watch a lot of television and for that reason I only have terrestrial. However, I've become so irritated by the fact that channel 5 goes wonky every time it rains that I'm going to take the plunge. I shall purchase a 'top box' for digital TV. Not that there's much on channel 5.

I had the aerial replaced for £40 a few years ago and I know it's fine but it annoys me that the rain affects my signal, so for the princely sum of £35 I shall correct the problem and get a few new channels to boot. Bargain.

All about me... ish

2005-04-27T12:50:00.000+01:00

Three months into this blog I'm finding it tricky to stay anonymous and yet write what I want. I've decided, therefore, to provide a little information about myself. Not enough to reveal who I am to passing acquaintances though!

Name: Girly Incognito
Age: In my twenties at the time of writing.
Address: Scotland, the cold and rainy part... :P
Occupation: Hmm. It's a Monday-Friday office job.
Marital Status: I live with my partner, Mr Incognito, whether we are married or not will remain unrevealed.

Background to the blog: I have a blog that is read by people I know in real life. Some of these people become argumentative, hostile and/or childish if you dare to disagree with them. I wish to voice my opinions without having to apologise afterwards. Keeping the peace can be hard work.

Other pertinent info: In addition to my job, like many other people, I study in the vain hope that extra qualifications will help advance my career.

Other impertinent info: I firmly believe that Irn Bru should be easier to find outside of Scotland.

There. It's not much, but it may answer some questions and make it easier for me to write.

The Sun has got his hat on...

2005-04-26T10:45:00.000+01:00

The sun is shining!

It's a lovely day today and I feel calm and happy, despite my workload threatening to crush me. It's not often lately that I can say things aren't winding me up.

Things aren't winding me up! There will be no pet peeves today. I have a sachet of Turkish Delight flavoured hot chocolate to try, a 'to-do' list for tackling my work and all is well with my little world. Happiness is ~~a cigar named Hamlet~~ a tasty hot drink and a nice organised calendar.

A what was where?

2005-04-21T20:50:00.000+01:00

I'm receiving a family visit on Sunday (although I doubt it'll be half as amusing as Alan's recent burblings). Therefore, I have just begun a cleaning frenzy. Not that it'll make a great difference but it gives me one less thing to defend myself over!

I was slightly perturbed to discover a fork in a plastic carrier bag on the floor of the study just now. Why would it be there? Why in a carrier bag? How long has it been there and why have I not noticed it before?

I suppose I should be glad it's not a knife, because that would open up a whole different set of questions.

Pet peeve #8: Melodrama

2005-04-18T12:12:00.000+01:00

I'm a polite person. I would never intentionally upset someone or antagonise them.

That's why I have this blog.

Good grief! My tolerance for the melodramatic is at an all time low. "Woe is me, life's so terrible that I want to die." Except you don't, do you? You just want everyone you know to pander to your pathetic little theatrics and feed your ego with juicy flattering statements.

Life is difficult. In fact, it's a damn sight more difficult for those suffering in poverty than it is for you. I have no respect for anyone that pulls this kind of crap. If you are going to top yourself please be considerate enough to leave all of your money to a charitable organisation.

Some people seek attention in the most inappropriate and tasteless ways.

Questions, questions, questions

2005-04-13T15:35:00.000+01:00

I'm currently supervising someone at work and it's a strange situation. She asks me a lot of questions, which is great because she's meant to be learning from me.

What's not so great is the stream of questions that veer off at a tangent from the work. She keeps confusing me with sudden queries that are related to the work but only distantly. It's a bit like someone who works in the gift shop at NASA being asked how the engines in a shuttle work. Of course, the folks in the gift shop at NASA might know the answer to that question. I, however, am dazed and bewildered right now.

Pet peeve #3 revisited: LOL and the pain it brings me

2005-04-11T14:30:00.000+01:00

I thought I'd banned 'LOL' from this journal! Use 'ROFL' if you must but for the love of Mike (whoever he is) stop infuriating me with your inane LOLing!

I apologise for my rant. I think I'll set up a list of links to the peeves in my sidebar when I get a few minutes.

Daytime TV

2005-04-07T13:25:00.000+01:00

I have not been well for the past few days and so I've been away from the PC but there is an upside to this. It's called 60 Minute Makeover.

Mr Incognito attempted to move me to my bed but I refused to leave the sofa until this brilliant programme ended. The idea of a team transforming your home in an hour makes me wide-eyed with delight. The sceptic in me says that they don't do it in an hour at all but it's such a fun idea that I want to apply for them to come and do my home! I fear I'd be rejected on the grounds that a poky little flat isn't interesting enough though.

Maybe I'll apply anyway.

Internal dictionary on the blink

2005-03-31T09:30:00.000+01:00

I was looking at my last entry and I managed to convince myself that 'cubicle' should have been spelled 'cubical'. I started to feel embarrassed that I'd made the mistake and pointed it out to Mr Incognito. He told me I was right in the first place but it just looked wrong so I hauled out the dictionary to check.

Lo and behold, 'cubicle' is right.

Don't you just hate it when your mind plays tricks on you? I used to have the same problem with the word 'chimney'...

Girly: "C-H-I-M-N-E-Y, yep, that's fine."
Brain: "Are you sure?"
Girly: "Yes... wait... no... what's wrong with it?!"
Brain: "It should be spelled C-H-I-M-M-N-E-Y or perhaps C-H-I-H-U-A-H-U-A."
Girly: "Um. I think I'll get the dictionary."
Brain: "Curses. Foiled again."

Spring cleaning

2005-03-29T15:25:00.000+01:00

It's amazing how much a good old-fashioned spring clean can lift your spirits. When your surroundings are neat and squared away you just feel better about everything. It's really a shame that I haven't quite managed to achieve this at (the bombsite I call) home but at least my 'cubicle' is a bit more organised!

New and fun ways for Girly to procrastinate: tidying her desk.

Pet peeve #7: Chain letters in cyberspace

2005-03-25T10:50:00.000Z

I don't know about you, but I do not like guilt-inducing chain e-mails. You know the sort I mean don't you? A friend passes on a funny e-mail to brighten your day and you open it... only to be faced with, 'if you are a true friend pass this on to everyone in your address book including the person you got it from. Otherwise you'll be hated by everyone and have bad luck for a gazillion years'.

Firstly, I'm not superstitious so you can take your luck and throw it at a mirror.
Secondly, if someone is going to get upset because I didn't reply to a forwarded chain letter then they shouldn't have access to e-mail.
Thirdly, don't these people have anything better to do?

One of these days I'm going to write an e-mail that promises pain and suffering if the recipient ever passes on another chain again. Then I'll post it to everyone who sends me them and wait...

Incidentally, I appear to have lost my sidebar. I'm most confused.

Life

2005-03-22T11:30:00.000Z

I've just returned from an unexpected trip. I probably could have entered cyberspace while I was away but I found myself with far more interesting distractions.

I had big dinners that Pratchett's wizards would have been awed by, I visited people and tinkered with electrical goods. In fact, with so much to do and see I didn't even think about finding a handy computer. This Real Life™ thing is really rather fun.

I spent quite some time during my trip pondering the interior design of my home. I think perhaps I've finally slipped into adulthood without realising. Wallpaper? Carpets? Curtains? It's all so... grown up. Next thing you know Mr Incognito and I will be hosting dinner parties.

And people wonder why I'm anti-social...

2005-03-17T13:45:00.000Z

I can't really call this a pet peeve, it's more of an exasperation. I have several friends who could be considered 'partiers' and who go out a lot. I'm sure they have lots of fun and I'm happy for them in that respect. The problem comes when they complain that I don't go out with them.

I like the occasional night out. I enjoy an evening in the pub or a jaunt to a club at the weekend but I have a full-plate so going out every Friday and Saturday night is not an option for me. If someone wants me to go out and I say no I'm unlikely to change my mind if they go on to whine about it.

I've agreed to go out once this weekend, despite knowing that I have to work the next day, but I've already received reproachful comments because I won't be out another night. I've been called boring, told my priorities aren't important, and treated to abuse when I've left parties early. All of this from adults.

Maybe I'm old before my time but at least I've left the playground.

Pet peeve #6: 'Old man' whistling

2005-03-16T14:30:00.000Z

There's something about old man whistling that sets my teeth on edge. It happens when you least expect it; on a bus or in the supermarket, boring a hole in your brain.

It's that special combination of tunelessness and persistance that makes it so irritating. If I'm really unlucky the old man (it's always an old man!) will be trying to make it sound like a birdcall, wavering along on his tone-deaf way.

This has become a daily annoyance. I must locate my CD player in order to save my ears while out in public. It's either that or become a hermit.

Infrequent posting

2005-03-15T13:46:00.000Z

I'm afraid Real Life™ has me in a slight tizzy right now. There are work matters, health matters and family matters to be attended to but I think the worst is over.

Nothing to worry about and I'm sure I'll have a peeve or two to complain about quite soon! Bear with me.

In the meantime, please enjoy The Llama Song.

Pet peeve #5: But I have the FLU!

2005-03-10T09:04:00.000Z

I just stumbled across an article that made me smile.

Every time someone tells me they're suffering because they're terribly ill with the flu I want to correct them. Usually they're sniffling a bit and feeling sorry for themselves so they're trying to attract sympathy from all and sundry.

Sniffler: "Oh I have the flu *sniff* so I should really be in bed. *sniff sniff*"
Girly: "You have a cold. Get some Lemsip and stop being such a baby!"

I had the flu once. I couldn't get out of bed or eat or do anything that involved moving. I much prefer to have a cold, at least you get to drink hot booze and claim it's for medicinal purposes.

Superman, where are you now?

2005-03-09T14:45:00.000Z

The latest sign that my job is driving me to insanity:
I just found myself bouncing in my seat and typing in rhythm while mouthing along to an old Genesis song.

I really hope no-one saw that.

Pet peeve #4: Life isn't allowed to be OK

2005-03-06T22:05:00.000Z

So life is rolling along in a pleasant manner. You have a job you like, a nice place to live, lots of friends and a loving partner. Everything's coming up roses.

So you start to complain that your life is average. You even take the opportunity to have a dig at people in a similar situation who can't possibly be really happy because nothing routine can give you a warm, fuzzy glow.

Oh honestly, if existance were that futile everyone would kill themselves when they reached their teens and human life would cease to be rather quickly. I for one take pleasure in the minutiae and the routine. It's a question of perspective, some people will never be happy because they won't let themselves.

Of course some people won't be happy because they think being miserable makes them more interesting.

Paranoid Android? Just call me Marvin.

2005-03-05T22:30:00.000Z

I've identified a slight problem with being anonymous.

I created this blog with the sole purpose of being able to write what I like without fear of recrimination. Sounds good so far... but what happens if I'm too paranoid about identification to say anything interesting about my job or life in general?

It's an unlikely prospect but I think I'll have to set myself a few rules about what I can and can't say. As we all know boys and girls, the World Wide Web is a small place when it comes down to it.

It's in the genes

2005-03-03T13:20:00.000Z

Following on from my earlier post about messenger, I called my brother yesterday to see if he was still alive. It's been a couple of months since we spoke and I wanted to see how he was and whether he'd thought about Mothers' Day.

Girly: "I haven't seen you online for ages".
Brother: "Yeah, I haven't felt like talking to people".
Girly: "Why don't you just block the people you don't want to talk to?"
Brother: "But I have to go online to do that so they'd see me".
Girly: "Ah-ha! No they wouldn't, get the Messenger 7.0 beta and you can log in without anyone seeing you".
Brother: "Really? Great!"

I guess being anti-social runs in the family.

Textual camouflage

2005-03-01T14:00:00.000Z

I'm currently quite amused by someone I know complaining about the impersonal nature of blogs. The fact that they did so on their blog just makes it funnier. Surely the rise in SMS messaging and online communication shows that many people prefer to hide behind text? I know I do! One of the attractions of the Internet is anonymity, as far as I'm concerned.

If you want personal contact make a phone call or visit someone, don't post about your worries and woes in cyberspace and then debate the sincerity of your commenters.

Pet peeve #3: 'LOL'

2005-02-27T19:00:00.000Z

I don't know quite why this irks me so much, but the acronym 'LOL' makes me want to injure the person who typed it.

I can accept plenty of other acronyms, emoticons and smilies without the slightest twitch but that one irritates me so much that I want to ban it. In fact, consider it banned from this blog from now on.

Every time I see it tacked on to the end of a perfectly reasonable comment I imagine the typist giggling moronically and congratulating themselves on how funny they are. I can't shake that picture no matter how hard I try. I'll admit this is a little irrational but honestly, are the 'LOL'ers really laughing out loud?

Pet peeve #2: I'm not irritating, I'm opinionated!

2005-02-25T13:10:00.000Z

I value the opinion of others, I really do. However, some people just disagree with you no matter what. A particular acquaintance of mine spends a great deal of time acting like a child (e.g. instead of saying hello he has to insult you because 'it's funny') but as soon as you express an opinion on anything he becomes Captain Argumentative.

Girly: "I quite like that new bar".

Captain A: "Are you mad? It's pricy and the lights are too bright. I hate the decor too".

Girly: "I still like it, you don't have to".

Captain A: "But... I'M RIGHT".

Could someone please explain this phenomenon to me? I wish I was a psychologist just so I could understand what makes some people turn rabid at the mere hint of disagreement! Do they really think their opinion is so important that everyone else is going to agree without question?

Girly: "I quite like that new bar".
Captain A: "Are you mad? It's pricy and the lights are too bright. I hate the decor too".
Girly: "My God, you're right! I should have seen it all along, I'll never go there again".

Somehow, I don't think they'll ever get the responses they expect.

Getting there...

2005-02-23T15:25:00.000Z

I'm slowly getting to grips with my new surroundings. My original blog is hosted elsewhere and is a little more user-friendly but I enjoy a challenge so I've been brushing up on my HTML. Soon this page will be what I want it to be.

The trouble is, I'm not entirely sure what I want it to be. It was born out of frustration more than anything else. My other blog has a decent-sized readership but I know the majority of the readers (some of them because of the blog) so I find it difficult to say what I want in case I upset anyone. It's difficult to make yourself clear in print and those who know you often read too much into a throwaway comment, resulting in arguments that shouldn't happen.

This blog is a direct result of wanting to vent my spleen. I wanted to be anonymous and I wanted to be off the radar as far as my other audience was concerned. I think this will become a place to talk about the things that bother me. It's almost a little personal experiment for me and I think I'll enjoy seeing any results.

Bad 'netiquette'?

2005-02-22T15:00:00.000Z

I attempted to resurrect an old ICQ account last night. It's been a long time since I used it due to being plagued by horny teenagers wanting to 'cyber'. I was quite disgruntled to find that, after 30 minutes of being logged on, I'd received eight spam messages. Luckily I'd set it to 'authorisation only' so I wasn't added to anything but it put me off ICQ again.

A similar thing happened in 1997 when I still lived with my parents. They got a sparkly new AOL dial-up account. AOL allowed several usernames on one account so I had my own, which must have indicated me as female. I stupidly had my age and location in the directory and so every time I logged on guys would IM me and pester me for a photo, or ask me to meet them. These days I know better.

I've become quite fond of MSN messenger. I like being able to block people that I don't want to speak to. My partner (we'll call him Mr Incognito) tells me I'm anti-social online but I argue the same points that made me start this new blog:
1. I know a lot of whiny people.
2. They like to complain a lot.
3. I have to watch how I phrase everything just in case I accidentally offend any of them.

Blocking people lets me pick and choose who I can face chatting to. Sometimes conversations can be very hard work and if I was getting paid for it I wouldn't mind as much. Forgive me my bluntness but, if I'm online to relax, I don't want to spend my precious free time pandering to a 'woe is me' mindset.

In short, I'm scrapping ICQ in favour of a new MSN account. I can be found on girlincognito@hotmail.co.uk for email or messenger. Just don't be offended if I disappear sometimes.

Pet peeve #1: Holiday haters

2005-02-19T17:40:00.000Z

Lately I've been biting my tongue over holidays. Christmas, New Year, St. Valentines Day, you name it and someone will be complaining about it.

Christmas was filled with people 'humbugging' everywhere I turned, no-one seemed to want to just enjoy the holiday. At New Year all I heard was, 'It's always such a let-down'. I don't understand why those who think that don't just make alternative plans. If you can't be bothered with the pub or a party, why not invite a few close friends to watch Jools Holland on your TV?

St. Valentines Day is the worst of all holidays for complaints. In the week before the 14th not a day went past where I didn't hear the cry of, 'It's soooo commercial'. There were variations on the theme, some blog posts I read went into details about why it's just a day where people show off their feeling to make others jealous or make a token gesture to their lovers. I noted that every person who whined or de-romanticised St. V. Day was either single or couldn't be with their lovers that day. Go figure...

Starting over

2005-02-18T13:11:00.000Z

Well, this is a new beginning!

I feel liberated to have a new sense of anonymity and relieved to have a new little place of my own.

It started slowly, creeping in stealthily until it hit me from behind. The ninja of blogging-etiquette had struck me with a big stick. I no longer had the freedom to write my actual thoughts down in case one of my readers (many of which were friends) took offence.

It got so bad that I had to check myself from the most innocent of comments on my pet peeves because several of my readers were perpetrators of those very acts.

I rebelled and found this place of sanctuary, where I can rant as much as I like. I can't offend any friends here because none of them know I'm here. Even if someone were to stumble across my ravings they wouldn't know it was me.

Three cheers for the freedom of the Internet!